


Snufkin Comes Home

by Gelid_illuminant



Series: Snufkin and Moomintroll [1]
Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:02:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelid_illuminant/pseuds/Gelid_illuminant
Summary: Snufkin and Moomintroll grow closer over the course of the Spring and Summer
Relationships: Mumintrollet | Moomintroll/Snusmumriken | Snufkin
Series: Snufkin and Moomintroll [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123952
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Snufkin Comes Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own version of Moominvalley with my own versions of the characters, but mostly it's from the 2019 show. I guess Snufkin is a little bit older though

Moomintroll lay on his front on the grass, in a warm patch of sun, his legs kicking, his head in his hands. It was getting warmer each day. The flowers had begun to bloom, birds were singing their love songs, and Moominvalley was as beautiful as ever. Each day was pleasant and lazy. He would read books, spend time with his friends, go for walks. Moominmama made three delicious meals every day, Moominpapa was making progress on his memoirs. Every day, Sniff, Snorkmaiden and Little My would come and have adventures with Moomintroll. All was right with the world. Except that a piece was missing. Spring had been in the valley for weeks, but there was still no sign of Snufkin.

Snorkmaiden and Little My came over and sat in the grass next to Moomintroll. They greeted each other, but soon lapsed into silence. Moomintroll plucked a blade of grass and began to systematically shred it. Once it had been demolished, he sighed heavily, and plucked another. Little My groaned loudly. “You’ve been no fun lately, Moomintroll! What’s the matter with you?” She demanded. Moomintroll just sighed, deeper this time. “He’s upset because Snufkin isn’t back yet.” Said Snorkmaiden, a little frostily. Little My made a sound of realisation. “Oooh, of course! He’s scared that Snufkin won’t ever come back! That he’s got hurt or lost or forgo-”

“Shut up!” Moomintroll banged his fists on the ground, then had to massage life back into his wrists. “Of course I’m worried about Snufkin, but…but he’s going to come back, any day now. Just you wait and see! And…well, Snufkin once told me that worrying is useless, because it makes the bad thing happen to you twice over. Then he said some stuff about how badness is just a matter of opinion anyway and I got confused…but he had a point! So,” he stood up. “I’m going to believe that Snufkin will be back first thing tomorrow, and that means I get to spend today with you two. What shall we do?” He looked at Little My and Snorkmaiden, who both looked away uncomfortably.

“I don’t know…” Said Snorkmaiden. “What do _you_ want to do?”  
  


**

Moomintroll walked through the forest, carrying a balloon on a string. It was another pleasant day. Snufkin still wasn’t back, though. He sighed heavily as he walked. He nearly tripped over a tree root covered in moss. “Snufkin…won’t you come home?”

“Oh but I _am_ home, Moomintroll.” The voice came from a spot just above his head, and to the right. Moomintroll looked up at the balloon, which had Snufkin’s face on it. _“Aaah!”_

“Moooomiiiiiintroooooll!” The balloon crooned at him. The eyes and mouth grew rapidly until they covered the whole balloon, which popped loudly. Moomintroll yelled, _“SNUFKIN!!”_

He sat up, gasping and sweating. “What a horrible dream…”

There was a tapping at the window. Moomintroll took a few deep breaths to steady himself, then went to the window. It was too dark to see what was outside, so he opened the window. A tousled head popped in and beamed up at him. “Snufkin!” Moomintroll helped Snufkin inside, relishing the chance to touch him. “Snufkin, you’re back!” He exclaimed. Snufkin pulled his hat over his messy hair and smiled at Moomintroll again. Moomintroll wished it wasn’t so dark. “Come with me, Moomintroll.”

“But it’s nighttime?”  
“Just come with me, right now.” Snufkin climbed back out of the window and down the ladder. Moomintroll hurried to follow him, desperate not to lose sight of Snufkin.

Once on the ground, Moomintroll found that he could see pretty well by the light of the moon. It cast an eerie light over the landscape, making strange shadows. He shivered in the chilly breeze, and hugged himself in an attempt to keep warm. “Come on, Moomintroll, it’s this way.” Snufkin grasped Moomintroll’s arm and lead him across the bridge. “Where are we going, Snufkin?” Moomintroll asked. “It’s great to see you, but I’m really sleepy, and I had this _weird_ dream…”

“I want to show you something.” Snufkin announced. “Show me what?”

“Just wait and see. It’s worth it, trust me.”

They walked for a fair distance, through the trees and out into and open field. Moomintroll looked around, wondering what he was supposed to see. “…Uh, Snufkin? What-”  
“Look! There’s one!” Snufkin pointed. There was a little spark rising from the grass. Another, and another. They weren’t sparks at all. “Fireflies…” Moomintroll whispered. They kept gathering until a great swarm had formed, lighting up the darkness. Moomintroll could finally see Snufkin properly. He had a huge smile on his face, and his hand was outstretched to Moomintroll. Moomintroll took it, gingerly. Snufkin drew him closer and spun him around, laughing. “Aren’t they beautiful, Moomintroll?” He danced around in a circle, leading Moomintroll by the hand. His eyes shone warmly in the light from the fireflies. Moomintroll felt his face colour. “Yeah, beautiful…”

**

The next morning, Moomintroll spent a few moments laying in bed, in the soft cuddly warmth, remembering the amazing dream he had had. About dancing in the light of the fireflies with Snufkin. He allowed himself to believe that it was real, just for a moment, before going downstairs to breakfast. It was pancakes and preserved fruit. Moominpapa was reading something, and Moominmama was humming a cheerful tune. Reality started to set in, bringing with it a deep gloom. No Snufkin. Moomintroll munched his pancakes, not really tasting them. What if Little My was right, and he was hurt? Or lost? Or he had forgo-

“Why don’t you take some out to Snufkin, dear?” Said Moominmama, handing over another plateful. “…Snufkin?”

“He arrived early this morning, didn’t he?” Moominpapa put in. Morning? So the firefly dance was still a dream, then…but he was _here_. Moomintroll took the plate and ran outside to find him.

Snufkin sat on the edge of the bridge, warming his harmonica in his hands. “Oh, good morning, Moomintroll. I was just about to play a song. Is that for me?” He took the plate with a grateful smile and began to eat. Moomintroll sat down beside him, trying not to stare. “It’s nice to see you, Snufkin…”

“Nice to see you too, Moomintroll.”

“So…how was your trip?” Moomintroll couldn’t think of anything to say. All the things he had wanted to tell Snufkin about, all his adventures during the past weeks, just went from his head. “It was nice. I’ll tell you all about it later.” Snufkin finished his breakfast and put down the plate. “Weren’t those fireflies just incredible?”

Moomintroll felt like his breakfast had just fallen out of his feet. “…What?”

“Those fireflies, last night.” Snufkin started playing a soft tune of his harmonica. Moomintroll stared down into the rippling water. It had been _real?_ He had _actually_ danced with Snufkin last night? Actually seen him smile so warmly, his eyes shine so gently…actually held his hand and danced with him. His face turned red and he tried to hide it with his hands. He heard Snufkin chuckle, ever so quietly. “Let’s take this plate back to Moominhouse and say hello to your parents.” He got up, took the plate and walked away, leaving Moomintroll in paroxysms. He took a few moments to compose himself, and hurried after Snufkin.

Little My had come down to get breakfast, and Snorkmaiden and Sniff had joined them as well. They all greeted Snufkin, and settled down to eat. Snufkin told them all about his travels over the Winter. There were daring adventures, dangerous villains, and through it all Snufkin was brave and clever. Moomintroll was the only one who never wondered if it was all true or not. He gazed at Snufkin as he told his story, his head resting on his hands, his tail flicking. All too soon, the story was over and Snufkin announced that he was going fishing. Moomintroll watched as his friend walked away towards the river. He sighed deeply. “Why does he always leave?” He didn’t notice everyone staring at him concernedly.

**

Snufkin joined the Moomins for breakfast the next morning. After breakfast, as they were drinking tea, he turned to Moomintroll. “What would you like to do today, Moomintroll?” He asked. Moomintroll sat up properly. “Well, I thought we could go for a hike up the Lonely Mountains! We could take some food, make a day of it.” He answered hopefully. “That sounds very nice. Moominmama, will you help us with food? I only have fish right now.” Snufkin said with a smile. Moominmama was just collecting empty plates from the table. “Of course, Snufkin. We’ll make some sandwiches for you boys.” Moominmama, Snufkin and Moomintroll went to the kitchen and washed the dishes before starting on the sandwiches. They packed some raspberry juice as well. Moomintroll carried the food, and Snufkin carried his backpack. He found a long branch to use as a staff, and they set off towards the mountains.

As they hiked, they talked more about Snufkin’s travels. Moomintroll had woken up during the Winter and was able to relate his own adventures during that time. Snufkin seemed to truly enjoy Moomintroll’s story, even though it was far less interesting than his own. The sun was high in the sky when they stopped for lunch on a flat area near the path. Moomintroll looked back the way they had come as Snufkin unpacked the sandwiches. “We’ve walked quite a long way already.” Moomintroll remarked. Snufkin laughed. “You and I walk quickly. Let’s eat.” He bit into a sandwich. Moomintroll joined him happily. The sandwiches were nice, the raspberry juice was refreshing, and the atmosphere was joyful. After they ate, they stayed put for awhile, digesting. Moomintroll sat leaning against a boulder, and Snufkin joined him. He played his harmonica. Then they started walking again.

They reached the peak just after midday. Snufkin went ahead, having more energy than Moomintroll. He held his hat on as he looked out over the valley. Moomintroll allowed himself a moment to take in the sight of Snufkin standing there, his clothes billowing in the wind, his eyes bright with joy at the sight before him. Then he went to join him. The view of the valley really was remarkable. “I can see Moominhouse. Just down there, you see?”

“And the Snork’s house over there.” Snufkin replied. “That hot spring I found is over that way. And there’s the Forest of Witches.” He pointed out the dark green shape. Moomintroll sat down and continued to gaze out at the valley. After a moment, Snufkin sat beside him. He hooked his arm around Moomintroll’s.

After awhile sitting there quietly, the wind picked up. Moomintroll shivered. Snufkin turned to him. “Cold?”

“A little,” Moomintroll answered, leaning in against Snufkin hopefully. Snufkin stood up. “Then we’d better head back. If we leave now, we should get back in time for dinner.” He picked up his staff and started back along the path. Moomintroll jogged to catch up. He watched the back of Snufkin’s head as they went back down the mountain. He wondered just what was the correct level of affection to show to him. Joining arms was okay. Leaning against him didn’t seem to be. Maybe it was just too fast, and he needed more time.

Dinner had been laid out on the table by the time they arrived. There were places set for them. “Sorry, Moominmama, I’m sure you made a wonderful dinner, but I’ll be eating by myself tonight.” Snufkin said with an apologetic smile. “That’s fine, Snufkin. Have a nice evening.” Moominmama replied. Snufkin waved to Moomintroll as he went. Moomintroll sighed, and tried to focus on his dinner. It had been a very nice day and he was tired, but dinner would taste all the better with Snufkin at his side. “Did you and Snufkin have a nice time, son?” Moominpapa asked. Moomintroll poked at a cherry tomato. “It was delightful. The view of Moominvalley is just spectacular…” Moominpapa shared a glance with Moominmama. “Well, you’ll certainly sleep well tonight, won’t you, dear?” Said Moominmama. “I guess so,” replied Moomintroll.

**

A few days passed with no sign of Snufkin. Moomintroll tried not to worry, and focused on both his memories of time spent with Snufkin before, and thoughts of what they would do when he returned. Today, Moomintroll had eaten his breakfast, and spent some time reading on the porch. It was one of Moominmama’s romance novels. The beautiful heroine wasn’t even that interesting. He heard footsteps on the porch steps and looked up. Snufkin smiled and waved. “Good morning, Moomintroll. Did you have any plans for today?” He asked. Moomintroll held up his book. “Are you particularly interested in-”

“Please tell me you have an idea, Snufkin.” Moomintroll groaned, putting the book down. Snufkin laughed. “I thought we could go boating on the river. A man up on the North side of the valley lent me his boat.” Moomintroll was very keen on the idea, so they packed a lunch and told Moominmama where they were going.

“That’s it, carefully,” said Snufkin, as Moomintroll climbed into the boat. It had been awhile since he’d been boating. He held out his hands for balance, and Snufkin took them and helped him in, making Moomintroll blush. “There we go. Shall I row first?” Snufkin took up the oars and began to row, away from the sea. “It’s such a lovely day, isn’t it? Perfect for a boat trip.” He said with a heart-melting smile. Moomintroll caught himself staring and turned to look out at the riverbank. “It certainly is, Snufkin.” They passed by a few people, who waved to them. Moomintroll waved back, while Snufkin continued to row steadily. The day was so clement and he was here with Snufkin on the river; Moomintroll was filled with joy so he began to hum a little tune. Then he began to sing.

“Softly the morning light

Softly the dew

Softly my soul will bend

As she comes in view

At dawn she is delicate

And burning by noon

The end of the day will come soon

“And the stars in my lonely sky

Are infinite bright

And the stars know my soul will fly

They’re holding it tight

“There she is rising now

My heart might break

The birds in her warmth will fly

My soul it will ache

And the world comes alive for her

In awe at her gaze

And suddenly the sky is ablaze

“And the stars in my lonely sky

Are infinite bright

And the stars know my soul will fly

They’re holding it tight

“Say not her name to me

For I live in the shade

Briefly I see her

As she starts to fade

In silence we pass

Our path is well worn

In silence I wait for the dawn…”

He looked up at Snufkin, who was smiling, with his eyes shut, as though enjoying the song. Moomintroll got to the part that really made his heart ache.

“Calmly I drift along

Oh, I will endure

I only belong to her

Of that I am sure

Will I ever hold her

I cannot presume

For she’s the sun

I’m only the moon…”

Snufkin opened his eyes. They were shining. “What a sad song.” He said with a soft smile. Moomintroll blushed. “I just like it…it’s nice.” He explained. Snufkin sighed. “It’s sad because it implies that they are separate. They’re not. No one is, really. If you have love, you are always together, even when you are far apart. Most people think that we are individuals, but in my view, everyone is so connected with other people that the lines are blurred. Sure, we have our own personalities, but aren’t those personalities built up of our experiences, our desires, and our feelings for other people and the world around us?” Moomintroll never knew what to say when Snufkin got like this, so he just nodded. Snufkin laughed. “It’s a nice song, Moomintroll. It shows your heart. I like that.” Moomintroll blushed again. “Thank you, Snufkin…”

They stopped and moored the boat at a bend in the river where there was a nice spot for a picnic. They spread out the picnic rug and unpacked the hamper. There were sandwiches, cakes, fresh fruit, a salad, raspberry juice and tea. “This is quite a feast!” Snufkin exclaimed. He started on the salad eagerly. They ate in silence – that was Snufkin’s way. He liked to focus on whatever he was doing. Afterwards, when they were too full to move, they lay back on the rug and watched the clouds scudding by. “That one looks like a Hemulen,” said Moomintroll, pointing. Snufkin laughed. “That one looks like a big angry gorilla.”

“It does!” Moomintroll laughed too. They both sighed peacefully. Moomintroll felt Snufkin’s hand take his, and he intertwined their fingers. They stayed like that for awhile. Then Snufkin withdrew his hand and sat up. “Let’s get going. You can row if you want.”

Orange light from the setting sun bathed the landscape as they came back along the river, towards Moominhouse. Moomintroll rowed and Snufkin played his harmonica. It was a cheerful but complex tune. When he reached the end, Moomintroll spoke. “That was such a nice song, Snufkin.”

“Thank you. I made it up myself.”

“Did you really? That’s amazing! What’s it about?” Moomintroll asked. He thought he saw Snufkin blush, just for a moment. Snufkin smiled sweetly at him. “It’s about you, and me, and Summer.” He said quietly. Moomintroll stared at him, stunned beyond words, his face turning red. Snufkin laughed. “I’ll play it for you whenever you want, just ask.”

Snufkin joined the Moomins for dinner that night. He was clearly in a philosophical mood because he had a long talk with Moominpapa about something that Moomintroll wasn’t sure he understood very well. Moomintroll helped Moominmama clear up, then sat by the window to watch the world darken. Snufkin and Moominpapa were playing chess. Moomintroll was happy that Snufkin got along so well with Moominpapa and Moominmama. They were almost a family. But not in a brother way…no, not at all. It became too dark to see outside, so Moomintroll picked up the romance book he’d been reading before. The hero saved the heroine from pirates; she fell into his arms in a passionate embrace. Moomintroll put the book down. That sort of thing didn’t interest him at all. He went to watch the chess game that Snufkin was clearly winning.

“Goodnight, Moominpapa, Moominmama, Moomintroll.” Snufkin said as he lit a lantern borrowed from the Moomins. Moomintroll wanted to give him a hug, but his parents were right there, and he wasn’t sure that Snufkin even liked hugs. “Goodnight, Snufkin. I’ll walk with you to your tent and bring the lantern back?”

“Certainly,” Snufkin replied. He stepped outside and started along the path to the bridge. Moomintroll wanted to take his hand, but he restrained himself. They soon reached Snufkin’s tent, where Snufkin handed the lantern to Moomintroll. Their fingers brushed, ever so briefly, making Moomintroll’s heart thump harder against his chest. “Thanks, Moomintroll. Today was a delight. You are a fine rower. We should have a race sometime.” Snufkin suggested with a smile. “You’re on. I’ll beat you easily!” Moomintroll laughed. Snufkin laughed back. They said goodnight again, and Moomintroll went home to Moominhouse as Snufkin got into his tent.

**

The next few days passed uneventfully. Moomintroll went for walks with Little My, Sniff, Snorkmaiden and Snufkin. They explored the valley together. They told stories, both true and made up ones. Snorkmaiden seemed to be feeling a little down, so Moomintroll picked some flowers and made them into a coronet for her. She seemed much happier after that. He also made one for Snufkin and put it around the brim of his hat. Snufkin was delighted but Snorkmaiden seemed to be upset again. Okay, so Moomintroll would have to have a talk with her at some point, about his feelings, and what the future would look like…but not right now. Right now, he was so happy. His friends, his family, the whole of Moominvalley was perfect right now. And he’d had an idea for a nice thing to do together with Snufkin.

“Snufkin, would you like to have dinner tonight?” Moomintroll asked as he sat with Snufkin on the riverbank. “I like dinner every night,” Snufkin smirked. Moomintroll laughed. “I mean with me. Just you and me. We’ll eat outside, and watch the stars.” He said hopefully. Snufkin took a moment to consider the proposition. “Alright. I’d like that, Moomintroll. We can set up over there, there’s less light from Moominhouse, we’ll be able to see the stars really well.”

“Perfect! I’ll go arrange a menu with Moominmama!” Moomintroll clapped his hands together joyfully. Snufkin waved his hands in protest. “Nothing to fancy please. You know me, I like simple food.”

“Of course, just a pie or something, don’t worry!”

Moomintroll lit the candle and made sure it was centred on the table. The sun had almost gone, and the stars were coming out. The air was still quite warm, so they wouldn’t need to light a fire. Moomintroll finished setting the table and sat down to wait for Snufkin. He came up towards him, carrying a lantern to light his way. He settled down on the seat opposite Moomintroll. “This is nice, Moomintroll.” Said Snufkin. He set the lantern down on the ground. “Thanks! The food should be here soon, and then we can eat!” Moomintroll replied happily. Snufkin smiled. Footsteps approached. It was Sniff, carrying two platters. He set one down before each of them and removed the covers. It was vegetable pie. “Good, I like pie…” Snufkin said unsurely, watching Sniff as he poured raspberry juice. He had quite a haughty expression on his face, and he was wearing a tie.

Sniff went away again, leaving them alone in the fading light. “I just hope there isn’t any ambient music…” Snufkin murmured. Moomintroll laughed nervously. “Sorry about that, Sniff took it a little far. I didn’t ask him to- well, I asked him to serve dinner but, well…”

“It’s alright, Moomintroll,” Snufkin assured him. “This is still nice. This smells very good.”

“Thanks. I, I made it…”

“You did very well,” Snufkin took a bite of the pie and made a small noise of appreciation. “It’s delicious, Moomintroll.” They ate in silence, as usual. As Moomintroll was sipping on his raspberry juice, Snufkin looked upwards. “Beautiful sky…” He whispered. He stood up, walked a short distance, and lay down on the grass, his hands behind his head. Moomintroll went to lie beside him.

They gazed up at the sky. Snufkin pointed out constellations to Moomintroll. He explained that he used them to navigate sometimes, when he was travelling in the South. “The constellations are different, if you go far enough.” He said. “Really? That sounds fascinating. I’d love to see that one day.” Moomintroll replied. “One day,” said Snufkin. “Oh!” He exclaimed. “What is it?”

“A shooting star! Over there!” Snufkin whispered in awe. Moomintroll searched the sky. A light streamed and vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Oh…” It was followed by another, and another, until it was a proper meteor shower. He forgot to make a wish, everything was so good already, he didn’t need to. “I’ve seen a few over the years, but never one like this…” Snufkin said under his breath. “It’s so beautiful. This world is so beautiful.”

“It truly is,” Moomintroll whispered back.

The meteor shower ended, and they went to put away the table and clean the dishes. After that, Snufkin said goodnight and went to his tent. Moomintroll watched him go until he was hidden by the dark of the night. He looked up at the stars. They probably should have run in and told everyone to come outside and see. But it hadn’t lasted that long…and it was nice to watch it together, just them. It would be a special moment between them, a special memory to keep close on rainy days. Moomintroll etched that memory onto his heart, and went to bed.

**

A week or so later, Moominmama and Moominpapa organised a party to celebrate their wedding anniversary. They set up a long table in the grass, cooked a feast, and brought out their record collection. Moomintroll brought a written invitation to Snufkin’s tent, but he was out, so he left it by the entrance and went home. They next morning there was a letter on the welcome mat.

_Dear Moomin Family,_

_I am honoured by your invitation and offer you felicitations upon the anniversary of your special day. I will certainly come to your party, although I have nothing to wear._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Snufkin_

Moomintroll laughed, and showed the letter to his parents and Little My. “Maybe you should make Snufkin a suit, Moominmama!” Little My piped up. Moominmama hummed, considering. Moomintroll laughed. “He wouldn’t wear it, you know.” Even still, he took a moment to imagine what Snufkin would look like in a suit, his hair combed flat. It was both amusing and endearing. “The only way Snufkin would ever wear a suit,” said Little My, “is if _he_ got married!” That made Moomintroll blush so badly that he had to leave the room. It would never happen, either the suit or the…marriage thing. Snufkin was a free spirit. He would never want to be tied down like that. Moomintroll had never allowed himself to consider the idea before…and he never would again, because it would never happen.

The table was set, the music was playing, the food was hot and the sun was going down. Everyone had gathered in the garden, but Snufkin hadn’t arrived yet. Moomintroll was trying not to be anxious as he greeted his and his parents’ friends from across Moominvalley. Snufkin had said he was coming, and he would be there. But Moomintroll hadn’t seen him for nearly two weeks. His tent was still there, but Snufkin hadn’t been around. Moomintroll finished up his chat with Mrs. Fillyjonk and turned to see the squashed peak of an old green hat coming towards him through the crowd. “Snufkin!”

“Moomintroll.” Snufkin smiled brightly at him. He had flowers on his hat, and had even pinned one to his scarf. It was a red rose. Moomintroll thought that this was much better than any tailored suit.

The party went very well. Moominmama and Moominpapa were happy, Little My was dancing with Sniff, Snorkmaiden and her brother were at the table, eating and chatting with their friends. Moomintroll spent some time mingling. More and more people were dancing to the cheerful music. He went over to Snufkin, who sat at the table watching the dancers, and offered his hand. “Would you like to dance with me, Snufkin?” Moomintroll asked, his heart full of hope. Snufkin smiled up at him. “No thanks, not right now, Moomintroll.” He went back to watching in silence. Moomintroll pushed his disappointment down. He had said _not now_ , he hadn’t said _not ever_. “Um, okay…are you enjoying the party?” He asked, trying to keep his voice cheerful. Snufkin smiled at him. “I am. It’s nice to see people enjoying themselves. And the food is great.” He nibbled on a biscuit.

Moomintroll turned to look at the dancers. Moominmama and Moominpapa were in the centre of the group, dancing like they knew how. Moomintroll supposed that they _did_ know how. The music changed, it slowed. A smooth, jazzy waltz. The dancers moved in closer, holding each other tenderly. Moomintroll resisted the urge to imagine doing that with Snufkin. He went to get more raspberry juice. When he returned with the jug, Little My was sitting next to Snufkin, talking. Moomintroll remembered that they were half-siblings. “Why don’t you want to dance with Moomintroll? Aren’t you guys like, super friends?” Little My said, a little softer than she usually spoke. Snufkin sighed. “It’s complicated, Little My. You see…” Moomintroll stopped listening, set the jug on the table and walked away.

The party was over. Moominmama and Moominpapa sat on the porch steps, whispering and giggling like children with a secret. Little My had fallen asleep. Everyone else had gone home, except for Snufkin, who came over to where Moomintroll was sitting. “Hey, Moomintroll.” He said softly. Moomintroll looked up at him. He was tired, and confused. Snufkin smiled. “Help me move the record player?”

“How come?”

“You’ll see.” Snufkin went to pick it up. Moomintroll went to help him. “Behind the house, in that clump of trees.” Why there? There was just a clearing there, nothing special. But Moomintroll helped Snufkin carry the record player to the copse and set it up. Snufkin went away and came back with a record. He put it on, and a happy song began to play.

Snufkin held out his hand to Moomintroll, a gentle smile on his face. “Dance with me?” He asked. Moomintroll stared. “You…why do you want to dance now, and not before?” He was so confused…

“I wanted to be alone with you.” Snufkin said simply. “Dance with me now? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” His hand fell a little. “No, I do want to dance with you, Snufkin! I’m just confused…” Moomintroll took Snufkin’s hand and stepped closer. “Let’s dance.” They spun around each other, began to twirl. Snufkin tripped and stumbled, Moomintroll caught him, laughing. They jumped and spun and twirled together. Then the song changed. It was that slow waltz from before. Moomintroll let go of Snufkin’s hand, expecting them to stop, but Snufkin took his arm and brought him closer.

“Snufkin…I…” Moomintroll closed his eyes as Snufkin held him close. “Dance with me, Moomintroll…” They turned in a slow circle. Snufkin’s head pressed into Moomintroll’s shoulder. They both let out a soft sigh. Moomintroll couldn’t believe what was happening to him. He resolved to do as Snufkin had taught him once before – to be present in this moment, here and now. It was perfect. Him and Snufkin, just the two of them, together. Moomintroll wrapped his arms around Snufkin’s shoulders and relaxed. The song ended far too soon. But Snufkin didn’t draw away, he stayed close to Moomintroll and looked into his eyes. “There. Wasn’t that better than dancing in a crowd?” He murmured. Moomintroll nodded. “It really was. Thank you, Snufkin.”

Snufkin placed his hand on Moomintroll’s cheek, gazing at him fondly. They stayed like that for a few moments, before Snufkin stepped away. “It’s time for bed now, I think. Thank you for a wonderful evening, Moomintroll. And goodnight.” He sighed happily. “Goodnight, Snufkin, sleep well.” They parted company, each going their separate ways. Snufkin to his little tent, and Moomintroll into Moominhouse. He cleaned his teeth and had a bath, then got into bed. He snuggled up in the pleasantly cool sheets and closed his eyes, the memory of Snufkin’s warm hand on his face still remained. Snufkin…

But he would leave come Winter. He had to be free. That meant that Moomintroll was just a…what did it mean? Snufkin just wasn’t the type to…fall in love.

**

It was several days later. Moomintroll hadn’t seen Snufkin at all. He couldn’t decide if he should talk to Snorkmaiden now or wait until he understood what the situation was with Snufkin. Talking to Snorkmaiden would be hard…he would need Snufkin’s advice. And probably, Snufkin’s comfort afterwards. Although…he didn’t actually want to be with Snorkmaiden, so breaking things off officially would be okay, right? Right…

He would wait until Snufkin got back. He took his mind off it by returning to the romance novel. He skipped over the few pages which he wasn’t interested in, and got to a good bit where the hero and the heroine went on a romantic trip to the beach together. The beach…there was an idea. They could go swimming! He hadn’t been swimming yet this year, and it was warm enough for it now. A beach day with Snufkin, yes…

A few more days passed by. Moomintroll kept reading until he finished the book, then he picked out another one. This one was about a young couple going on a trip to outer space. With dragons. He lay on the grass in the sun, engrossed in the book. A shadow was cast over the page; he looked up. Snufkin stood over him, looking curious. “What are you reading?” He asked. “Oh, um, it’s a…space opera.” Moomintroll answered vaguely. “Nice. Ahh, it’s good to be back.” Snufkin said, looking around at the landscape with a smile on his face. Moomintroll got to his feet, and took a deep breath to gird himself. “Snufkin,” he began. “Yes?” Snufkin turned to him, curious again. Moomintroll clenched his fists at his his sides. “I-I, um. Would you accompany me to the beach tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Snufkin replied. “Lunchtime?”

“Perfect.”

The next morning, Moomintroll packed a hamper with lunch, and dug out the portable radio. He put on a broad-brimmed straw hat and his swimming trunks, and went to wait for Snufkin at the bridge. Snufkin arrived, carrying a faded towel. “I’ll take the hamper, if you want.” He offered. “It’s fine. Shall we go?” Moomintroll set off towards the sea, Snufkin following. They arrived on the sand to find a calm sea, perfect for swimming. Moomintroll laid out a picnic rug on the sand and put the radio next to it. He tuned it to his favourite station; it was playing folk music. He heard rustling cloth, waited a moment and turned to see Snufkin in his swimming trunks. Something he had never seen before. It was actually just linen shorts and a shirt. Snufkin wasn’t bashful at all. He put his towel on the sand. “Food first or swimming first?” He asked. Moomintroll answered by running right into the gentle waves and splashing around joyfully.

Snufkin joined him in the water and began swimming wide circles around Moomintroll. “You’re a really good swimmer, Snufkin!” Moomintroll called to him. Snufkin stood up to answer. “Thanks! I like to swim at the beaches in the South, where it’s warmer. Oh look, fish!” Snufkin pointed out the small school of fish. Moomintroll splashed over to get a better look. “Woah, neat! Are you going to try and catch some?”

“Not today. Today I’m here to swim. With you.” Snufkin smiled, and went back to swimming. Moomintroll swam around with him. They started a game of who could make the biggest splash. Moomintroll won. Then his stomach rumbled. “Time to eat, I guess.”

Moomintroll went up onto the sand and patted himself dry with his towel. He opened up the hamper and took out some sandwiches. Snufkin kept swimming for a bit, then came to join him, wrapping his towel around his shoulders. “It’s the perfect day for swimming, isn’t it? Bright warm sun, gentle breeze.” He gazed out at the sea. Moomintroll watched the expression on his face, entranced by the fondness he saw there. Snufkin turned to look at him and Moomintroll looked away, blushing. He stuffed his sandwich into his mouth. Snufkin turned up the radio and took some sandwiches out of the hamper. After they had eaten, they sat there in the warm sunlight for awhile. Snufkin played a familiar old tune on his harmonica. Then they returned to their splashing game.

The sun was still high in the sky when they grew tired of swimming and went back to Moominhouse. Moomintroll put the picnic things away and joined Snufkin on the porch. “I suppose you’d like to be alone for the rest of the day, Snufkin?” He asked. Snufkin shook his head. “I would like to stay with you for awhile longer, Moomintroll. But I am a little sleepy.” He hummed in thought. Moomintroll had an idea. “We can take a nap together, if you want…maybe in Papa’s hammock?”

“Sure.” Snufkin smiled. Moomintroll climbed into the hammock first. Snufkin began to climb on top of him, and they both fell off, laughing. “I guess that won’t work.” Said Snufkin. He took Moomintroll’s hands and helped him up. “Let’s go lie by the river.” He lead Moomintroll to the riverbank and lay down. Moomintroll laid down beside him and closed his eyes. He felt Snufkin shuffle nearer, until his head was resting on Moomintroll’s chest. Soon, they were both asleep.

Moomintroll opened his eyes and looked up at the clouds. They were dyed pink by the light of the setting sun. Snufkin was still asleep on his chest. Moomintroll hummed softly in appreciation, but then noticed that it was getting cold. He didn’t want either of them to catch a cold, so he nudged Snufkin and called his name until he woke up. “Sorry to wake you, Snufkin, but it’s nearly dinnertime.” He said softly as Snufkin sat up, blinking and rubbing his eyes. “I’ll join you, if that’s okay.” He got to his feet and helped Moomintroll up. They walked up to Moominhouse together, where Moominpapa and Little My were setting the table. “Oh, Snufkin’s here. Another set, Moominpapa!” Said Little My. “Did you boys have a good day at the beach?” Moominpapa asked as Little My hurried off to get more cutlery. “We certainly did, Moominpapa.” Answered Snufkin as he took a seat.

Moominmama brought out the food – it was roast. They all dug in eagerly. Between bites, Moominpapa explained the new story he was writing. Once they had finished eating, Moominpapa and Snufkin went to sit on the couch and discuss his story, while the others cleared up. After he had put the dishes away, Moomintroll came to join Snufkin and Moominpapa. He sat on the floor by Snufkin’s legs and listened in. “So you think the protagonist’s motivation is flawed?” Moominpapa was saying. “Yes, but that’s not really a problem.” Said Snufkin. “It’s more interesting if your characters are flawed. It’s more realistic and relatable.” He finished. Moominpapa chuckled. “Not relatable to you, surely, Snufkin? You don’t appear to have any flaws at all.” Moomintroll had to agree there. “Sure I have flaws, Moominpapa.”

“Such as?” Moominpapa asked, curiosity evident in his voice. Snufkin laughed. “Well, I’m far to keen on secrets and gossip. I’m terrible for curiosity. If I hear of something interesting, I just _have_ to go and see it for myself. And Moomintroll here,” he placed his hand on Moomintroll’s head, between his ears. “would tell you that I can’t settle down. Some would call that a flaw.” He sat back, removing his hand. “Well, those aren’t exactly terrible flaws, now are they, Snufkin? It’s not as though you’re a thief or a liar or a pirate or anything.” Moominpapa put in. Snufkin laughed. “I may not be a liar, but I do keep secrets sometimes.”

“Like what?”

“That’s a secret, Moominpapa.” Snufkin winked. Moomintroll melted.

Moominpapa and Snufkin continued their conversation over tea, then Snufkin decided to go to bed. He said goodnight to everyone, then came over to Moomintroll and hugged him quickly. “Goodnight, Moomintroll.” And then he went, leaving Moomintroll blushing horribly. Little My laughed uproariously and sang out, “Moomintroll loves Snufkin! Moomintroll loves Snufkin!” She rolled around, still laughing. Moominmama chided her gently. “Snufkin has been Moomintroll’s best friend for years, Little My, you know that.” Best friends. Yeah. That’s probably what Snufkin felt. It wasn’t what Moomintroll felt, though. Well, Snufkin _was_ his best friend, but…Moomintroll was also deeply in love with him. Deeply, hopelessly, utterly.

**

Again, a few days passed with no Snufkin. He was around, and Moomintroll sometimes saw him in the distance, but he didn’t come to Moominhouse, or talk to anyone. Moomintroll supposed he was busy fishing or…philosophising or something. He filled the time with his other friends, his family and his chores. And thinking about how to talk to Snufkin about their relationship. And Snorkmaiden. That was a problem that he’d have to get around soon. Just as he was lost in a daymare about Snorkmaiden chasing him out of Moominvalley, Snufkin came over to him where he sat on the bridge. They greeted each other, and Snufkin sat beside him, and took his hand. Moomintroll went red as their fingers laced together. They sat quietly for a while, then Snufkin said something that made Moomintroll’s heart ache. “When are you going to talk to Snorkmaiden?”

“I…I, well, I’m…” Moomintroll began, looking away and reddening further. Snufkin sighed. “I know. It’s frightening, but you have to tell her how you feel, Moomintroll.” …Wait. Did Snufkin _know_ how Moomintroll felt? He looked over at Snufkin. Snufkin looked back, his eyes firm, but kind. Moomintroll’s heart unclenched. “Okay, Snufkin, I’ll talk to Snorkmaiden…” He wanted to lean against Snufkin but he daren’t. Snufkin leaned against him instead. He stroked the back of his hand, so gently. Moomintroll closed his eyes and pretended that this was the whole world. That he would be here with Snufkin like this forever. Then he moved away and stood up. “I’ll go and see her now.” He said, trying to sound brave. Snufkin smiled up at him. “I’ll be at my tent.”

Moomintroll knocked on the door of the Snork house. The Snork answered it. “Moomintroll, are you looking for Snorkmaiden? She’s in the back garden.”

“Thanks, Snork.” Moomintroll went around to the back of the house. Snorkmaiden maintained a beautiful garden. She was sitting by a small ornamental pond, plucking petals off a large flower. “Good afternoon, Snorkmaiden.” Moomintroll called. “Oh, Moomintroll!” Snorkmaiden turned to him, smiling and waving. “Come sit with me.” Moomintroll did so. He looked down at his hands, resting on his lap. “I have to talk to you, Snorkmaiden…” He started uncomfortably. “I have to talk to you, too.” Snorkmaiden replied. “Hmm?” Mumbled Moomintroll. Snorkmaiden plucked another petal. “We should go on a camping trip or something, just you and me. Wouldn’t that be nice? We haven’t been alone together since-”

“Since…Snufkin came home…”  
  


“…Yes.” Snorkmaiden murmured. Moomintroll stayed quiet, his throat constricted. Snorkmaiden put down her flower. Moomintroll took a few deep breaths, and finally managed to speak. “I need to tell you, Snorkmaiden…that I…I don’t…want to be with you anymore.” He was amazed he had managed to get the words out. Snorkmaiden took a moment before she spoke. “I know…I know, Moomintroll. I’ve known for awhile. You want to be with Snufkin…”

“I’m sorry, Snorkmaiden…I know this hurts. It hurts me, too…wait, is it that obvious?” Moomintroll looked up at her. Snorkmaiden rolled her eyes. “ _Everyone_ knows, Moomintroll.”

“Everyone…?”

“Everyone.” She picked up the flower and threw it into the pond, frowning.

“Um. So. Can we still be friends?” Moomintroll tried. “I’ll think about it.” Snorkmaiden replied. She crossed her arms. Moomintroll reached out to put his hand on her shoulder, but she brushed him off. “Leave me alone, Moomintroll. I need to be alone…” She hugged herself and started to tremble. Moomintroll stood up, backed away, then turned and ran. He ran all the way back to Snufkin’s tent, and stood outside the flap, gasping for breath. “Snufkin! Snufkin…!” The flap opened and Snufkin offered his hand. Moomintroll took it and followed Snufkin into the tent. He went willing into Snufkin’s arms, and the tears began to fall. Snufkin held him close, rocking him gently. “That’s alright, let it out…”

Moomintroll lay on his side in the shade of the tent. He’d never been in Snufkin’s tent before. There was nothing inside except a simple bedroll and a water flask. Snufkin lay across from him, watching him with concern. Moomintroll’s face was red and tear-stained. He was tired. “I don’t want to lose her as a friend…”

“I think she still wants to be your friend, Moomintroll. Just give her some time.” Snufkin placed his hand in the space between them, so that Moomintroll could hold it if he wanted to. Right now, he didn’t. “I don’t know what I’d do without her…she’s been a part of my life for so long.” He closed his eyes; they were sore. “She’s so important to me. I didn’t know this would hurt so much…she’s not my girlfriend. I don’t want to be her boyfriend…but it still hurts. Why does it hurt this badly?”

“Of course it hurts, Moomintroll. You’re scared that you’ll lose her entirely. And breaking off a long-term relationship is always going to have some kind of effect. Give yourself time. Let yourself grieve.” Snufkin’s voice was barely above a whisper. Moomintroll opened his eyes to look at him. “I think…I want to be alone for awhile.” He murmured. Snufkin nodded. “I’ll be here if you need me. I want to take a little trip soon, but I won’t leave until you feel ready.” He sat up. “Thank you, Snufkin…you’re a good friend.” Moomintroll hated himself for saying that. He said goodbye to Snufkin and crawled out of the tent. He went into Moominhouse and up to bed, glad that no one was around to see him.

He didn’t come down for dinner, so Moominmama brought it up to him. She put the plate on his desk and sat on the edge of the bed. “Moomintroll? What’s the matter, dear?” She asked gently. Moomintroll rolled over to face her. “I broke up with Snorkmaiden…” He buried his face in his hands and stared crying again. “Oh, dear...I’m sorry, Moomintroll. Do you want to talk about what happened?” Moominmama said in a gentle voice, putting her hand on Moomintroll’s shoulder. Moomintroll sat up a little. “I guess...we grew apart? Or...no, what happened is...I grew closer to someone else...” He sighed shudderingly. Moominmama wiped away his tears with a clean handkerchief. “And that’s why you can’t be with Snorkmaiden anymore?” She asked. Moomintroll nodded. “Will she still be friends with you?” She asked. Moomintroll shrugged. “She says she needs time to think...”

“I see...I’m sure she will still want to be friends, Moomintroll.” Moominmama patted his shoulder.

“I have to go down to dinner now, dear. I’ll come up and see you later. Try to eat something.” Moominmama kissed the top of his head and left the room. Moomintroll went to his desk and ate a few pieces of potato, then went back to his pillow. He wondered what Snorkmaiden was doing now. Was she crying as she made dinner? Was she telling Snork all about how Moomintroll had betrayed her? No...she was too nice to do something like that. Moomintroll stared at his bedroom ceiling for a long time. He put his hand up in the air and watched his fingers move in the semi-darkness. There was a knock on the door. “Come in...” It was Moominpapa, carrying a lantern. He sat down on the chair beside the desk. “Would you like to talk about what happened?”

Moomintroll explained that he had ended things with Snorkmaiden. Moominpapa sighed heavily, and sat in contemplation for a while. “I think we both know why that’s happened.” He said, finally. Moomintroll pulled the covers up further. “Does everyone really know?” He murmured. Moominpapa’s brow creased. “I think they probably do. It’s...well, pretty obvious. What are you going to do?” He asked kindly. “I think I need to talk to him...about things...” Moomintroll said quietly. “I agree,” replied Moominpapa. “A good talk is the solution to most things, I find.”

“Thank you, Papa. I think I’d like to go to sleep now.”

“Alright, son. Goodnight.” Moominpapa took the plate of uneaten food and left.

Moomintroll woke late the next morning. He went down and ate most of his breakfast, then returned to his room where he sat on his bed and tried to read a book. Awhile later, there was a knock on the door. “Come in...” It was Snufkin. He sat on the desk chair. “Are you okay to talk?” He asked in a soft voice. Moomintroll nodded. “I didn’t mention this yesterday, because you were in pain. But it needs to be addressed.”

“Yes, what is it, Snufkin?” Moomintroll felt anxiety threatening the edges of his mind. Snufkin leaned on his knees and sighed, lowering his gaze. “I think we had a misunderstanding the other day...” He said, rather quietly, as though he was...ashamed? “About what, Snufkin?” Moomintroll frowned in confusion. Snufkin took off his hat and passed it around in his hands. “I didn’t expect you to...I mean, I wasn’t actually asking you to...break up with Snorkmaiden.”

“...You weren’t?” Moomintroll didn’t understand. Snufkin put his hat back on but continued to stare at the floor. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“So why did you ask me to talk to her...?” asked Moomintroll. Did this mean that Snufkin didn’t want to be with him? “I just thought that...she should know that you and I are becoming closer. And that you should have a conversation about your future together, and what exactly you wanted from it.” He took his hat off again. “I’m truly sorry. I should have clarified. It’s...I’m not always that good at saying what I really mean. I’m so sorry...” He dropped his hat on the floor, then picked it up and put it back on. Moomintroll felt the anxiety threatening to overwhelm him and fought it down. He needed to think. This would mean that...Snufkin wasn’t looking to be his boyfriend. Of course he wasn’t. But...Moomintroll wasn’t in love with Snorkmaiden, so they shouldn’t be together, anyway. “It’s alright, Snufkin. It needed to happen.” He got up, crossed the short distance between them, and took Snufkin’s hands in his. So they would be affectionate best friends. That was...better than nothing.

Snufkin looked up at Moomintroll, smiling sadly. “I’m so glad that we’re still friends, Moomintroll.” He stood up and offered a hug, which Moomintroll gratefully took. Friends. Best friends. Forever. Moomintroll closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment to imagine that Snufkin felt the same way. That he would settle down in Moominvalley forever, build a little cottage by the river and live in it with Moomintroll. That they’d get married, and raise a family. Then he dismissed the notion as pure fantasy, and stood back. “Thank you for being honest with me, Snufkin. It means a lot to me. I think...yes, you can go on your trip now, if you want. I’ll be okay. Mama and Papa will take care of me.” He shook Snufkin by the hand, which made a strange expression appear on Snufkin’s face. Something like confusion? It was a short moment before Snufkin spoke. “Alright, Moomintroll. I’ll see you in a few days, then. Take care of yourself.” He left the room. Moomintroll sat back down on the bed and closed his eyes. He had to let go.

**

Snufkin was gone for two and a half weeks. He came to Moominhouse, where Moomintroll was sitting on the porch, peeling potatoes. “Moomintroll! I’m so glad to see you.” Snufkin sat beside him and put his hand on Moomintroll’s shoulder. Moomintroll shrugged it off. “It’s nice to see you too, Snufkin.” He said simply. Snufkin stayed quiet for a moment. Then he spoke, “I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I didn’t mean to stay away for all this time, but I went out on the sea, and there was this storm, and my boat-”

“It’s fine, Snufkin. I don’t expect you to be here all the time.” Moomintroll replied, not looking at him. “Oh. Well, I’m glad you’re alright. I’ll see you later.” Snufkin left. Moomintroll continued at his work and tried not to hate himself. He’d decided to let go, so he was letting go.

A few days later, Moomintroll was digging up an old tree stump in the garden. The tree had been very old, and had started to rot. They got lots of firewood out of it. It was hard work. Right now he was digging a big hole around the stump. “Moomintroll! Do you need some help with that?” It was Snufkin. “That would be great, Snufkin. There’s more tools in the basement.” Moomintroll said, wiping sweat off his brow. Snufkin went to get some tools, and together they dug out the stump. It took quite a long time, and the day was warm. Moominmama brought them some lemonade, and they sat on the porch steps to drink and rest. “A good job well done is it’s own reward, but lemonade is good too.” Snufkin laughed. Moomintroll allowed himself a small chuckle. He felt Snufkin’s hand take his, and withdrew it carefully. They said nothing until Snufkin decided to leave.

The next day, Moomintroll went for a walk with Little My and Sniff, into the forest. Snufkin tagged along with them. He matched Moomintroll’s pace. “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” He said to him. “It’s very warm today, so the shade here is nice.” Moomintroll replied. They watched Little My and Sniff chase each other through the trees. “Help me gather mushrooms?” Snufkin asked Moomintroll. He agreed, and they began the search. They put the mushrooms they found into a bucket that Snufkin had brought. “That should be enough. Thanks, Moomintroll.”

“What are they all for?” Moomintroll asked. “I helped a farmer with a few jobs and she gave me all this pastry I need to use, so I’m going to make a big pie. If I can use the oven in Moominhouse, that is.” Snufkin told him. Moomintroll nodded. “Sure you can, Snufkin.” Snufkin shuffled closer to him, smiling fondly. “Will you help me eat it? Just you and me?”

“Um, you can share it with us all, if it’s going to be that big.” Moomintroll replied. He went off to find Little My and Sniff, leaving Snufkin looking very confused. After their walk, they went back to Moominhouse and Moominmama helped Snufkin with the pie, which they all had for dinner. Moomintroll played cards with Moominmama, Little My and Sniff, while Moominpapa and Snufkin played chess. After Sniff had left, Snufkin came over to Moomintroll. He smiled, a little weakly. “It’s the Midsummer bonfire in a few days, isn’t it?” He asked. “It is. Will you come?” Moomintroll replied in casual tones. “I’ll be there. Goodnight, Moomintroll.”

“Goodnight, Snufkin.” Moomintroll focused on packing away the cards nicely. Snufkin left, and Moomintroll wondered if he was doing the right thing.

The next few days were hot and a little sticky, but the bonfire was going to go ahead. Moomintroll helped with gathering wood and clearing debris. They were having the fire out the front of Moominhouse, but far enough away to be safe, and near the river. On the night of the bonfire, many people from across Moominvalley had gathered next to Moominhouse. Even Too-tickey had come. Moomintroll had a pleasant chat with her as they set up log benches together. Then she asked how Snufkin was, with a knowing smile. Moomintroll shrugged. “He’s fine, I guess. I haven’t seen him for a few days.” He rolled a log into place. Too-tickey looked at him oddly. “Are you two having problems?” She asked. Even Too-tickey knew? “We’re doing fine, thank you, Too-tickey.” Moomintroll said curtly. Too-tickey changed the subject.

“Moomintroll,” it was Snorkmaiden. Moomintroll turned to see her standing nearby. She had flowers in her hair. “I’ve decided to be your friend.” She held out a hand. He shook it, then grinned. “Thanks, Snorkmaiden. I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sure you have.” She smirked. “When is the bonfire going to be lit?” Snorkmaiden turned to look at the pile of wood. “Soon, I think. Moominpapa is going to light it this year.” Moomintroll replied. Snorkmaiden stayed quiet for a moment, then said, quietly, “will Snufkin be here?”

“He said he would be, but I don’t know. I haven’t seen him in a few days.” He said it so casually that Snorkmaiden looked at him in surprise, but she didn’t say anything. They sat together and waited for the party to start. Soon, Moominpapa appeared, wielding a burning torch. A cheer went up as he threw it onto the pile.

The bonfire was burning strongly by the time Snufkin arrived. He sat down next to Moomintroll, panting a little as if he had been running. “What did I miss?” He asked. “Not much. Moominpapa lit the fire and we all danced around it in a circle.” Moomintroll told him. Snufkin sighed. “I missed the best part. Ah, well. It is a beautiful fire, though.” Firelight danced in his eyes. Moomintroll felt himself getting lost in those eyes, and turned away. Snufkin shifted into a more relaxed position, and moved a little closer to Moomintroll. “Do you want to go closer?” He suggested. Moomintroll shook his head. “I’m fine here.”

“I mean…never mind…” Snufkin moved away again. He played a cheerful song on his harmonica. Moomintroll wandered off to talk to some people he’d never met before, leaving Snufkin by himself.

Perhaps two hours later, when the sky was full of stars, and the fire was still going strongly, Snufkin came over to Moomintroll, where he stood talking to someone. He had a sombre expression on his face. “I need to talk to you.” He said. Moomintroll turned to him. “I’m a bit busy right now, Snufki-”

“We need to talk, Moomintroll. Come find me when you’re ready.” He went away again. Moomintroll finished his conversation, which was now a little awkward. Then he went to Snufkin with a heavy heart. “Let’s talk.”

Snufkin lit a lantern and lead Moomintroll away, into the forest. They reached a quiet clearing. Then Snufkin put down the lantern, and turned to Moomintroll, his expression full of determination. “Do you not want to be my friend anymore, Moomintroll?”

“I still want to be your friend, Snufkin.” Moomintroll replied, honestly. Snufkin sighed and looked at the ground for a moment, then looked back at Moomintroll. “So why have you been pushing me away?” He said, his voice clear. Moomintroll met his gaze. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to show that much affection in a mere friendship.” He stated. Snufkin’s eyes widened in surprise. “A mere friendship? What’s…mere, about friendship? Who says that it’s lesser than any other relationship?” He waved his hands in emphasis. Moomintroll rolled his eyes. “This is the problem with you, Snufkin. You think that you’re right about everything and don’t have to listen to other people’s feelings.”

“What? No I…do I?” Snufkin put his head in his hands. “I’ve messed everything up…”

Moomintroll wanted to hold him, comfort him. But he didn’t. He had to be strong. “Snufkin, we’re still friends. I just don’t want to do things like hold your hand, or fall asleep together.” He half hated himself for lying, but it had to be done. Snufkin looked up at him, the determination and the colour drained from his face. “Moomintroll, why did you entertain my affections if you did not intend to return them?” His voice was shaky now. Moomintroll felt a prickling in his eyes and squeezed them shut. “I was confused.” He said. “About what?” Snufkin was nearly in tears. Moomintroll had to take a deep breath before he replied. “About your feelings for me. About my feelings for you…”

“How _do_ you feel about me, Moomintroll?”

“…I think I’ve made that clear, Snufkin.” Moomintroll murmured. A tear rolled down Snufkin’s cheek. “I thought I knew, but I don’t! Not anymore…not with you treating me so distantly. Did something change?” He wiped away the tear but another soon replaced it. Moomintroll wished he carried a handkerchief. “What changed is that I let go. I knew you would never feel the way I felt, so I let you go.” He wanted to go to bed. Snufkin rubbed his eyes. “Tell me how you feel, Moomintroll…” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “You’re my best friend, Snufkin. That’s how I feel.” Moomintroll answered. Snufkin shook his head. “I thought you…I thought you wanted to be with me…differently.” He was clearly fighting back sobs. “I miss you.” That got right at Moomintroll’s heart. Differently? “What do you mean, Snufkin? I never understand you!”

Snufkin looked up at him, eyes streaming. “I mean that…I thought you felt the same way that I feel! But I was clearly wrong about that, wasn’t I?” He took a creased handkerchief out of his sleeve and wiped his eyes with it. Moomintroll groaned. “How are we ever going to get through this conversation if you never tell me how _you_ feel, Snufkin?” He was nearly yelling. “Isn’t it obvious?” Snufkin muttered. “No, it’s not obvious! Nothing is obvious with you, Snufkin!” Moomintroll retorted. “I’m in love with you!” Snufkin yelled back, then started sobbing. “Okay then!” Moomintroll exclaimed. “…Oh. You’re…”

“I’m in love with you, Moomintroll…” Snufkin’s voice was so full of pain. Moomintroll waved his hands awkwardly, wanting to touch Snufkin but not daring to. “I…didn’t know. I’m sorry, Snufkin.”

“Now…” Snufkin gazed at Moomintroll. “Tell me the truth. What changed? What made you turn me away?” He gripped his handkerchief as though it was a lifeline. “Snufkin…I didn’t really want to do that. But I thought…”

“You thought I didn’t love you…?”

“That’s right…” Moomintroll covered his face with his hands as tears began to fall. “We’re both idiots…” He couldn’t get his voice above a whisper. He felt Snufkin’s arms fold around his shoulders. “Moomintroll, I do love you. So much.” Snufkin rested his forehead against Moomintroll’s. “I love you, Snufkin. I love you…I want to be with you. So badly, so badly…” He whimpered. Snufkin let out a soft chuckle. “That’s not bad, Moomintroll. There’s nothing bad about it.” He kissed his forehead, then his cheek, then kissed away his tears.

Moomintroll opened his tear-washed eyes and gazed at Snufkin, letting his expression show the depth of his feelings. Snufkin smiled back at him. “I’m sorry this is such a mess, Snufkin. I think we both messed up.” Moomintroll said hoarsely. Snufkin placed his hand on Moomintroll’s cheek, still smiling. “It’s a little messy, but we’ll be okay. The truth has been spoken. That’s what should have happened to begin with, but we got there eventually.” He kissed the end of Moomintroll’s nose, making him laugh. They both laughed together, then joined hands and gazed at each other. “Only the truth from now on. No secrets.” Moomintroll promised. Snufkin nodded. “No secrets. Only truth.” He picked up the lantern with one hand, still holding onto Moomintroll with the other. “Shall we return to the party?”

“Let’s.”

**

Everyone in Moominvalley was so relieved when they learned of the developments in Moomintroll and Snufkin’s relationship. That they were finally taking things seriously. Everything was peaceful again in the valley.

Moomintroll joined Snufkin on the riverbank, where he was fishing. They exchanged a smile. Moomintroll leaned in against Snufkin and closed his eyes. “I will miss you when I leave, but I must go, Moomintroll.”

“I know, Snufkin. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“I know.”


End file.
